Tomorrows and Todays

Time travel movies boggle my mind. I'm usually slow in general when watching movies, which means I always need a "movie buddy" to explain it to me long after everyone else gets it. But time travel movies, no matter how much people try to explain, just simply don't make sense. I like them though. They bring interesting questions to mind.... but they're still in some ways just unexplainable, and I usually am not too comfortable with that.

Some of our youngest memories have to do with time. People tell us "in a minute" "one second" "in ____ days...." and we eagerly anticipate when time will fulfill itself and we'll be there... at that desired moment. Time does seem to fly when we're having fun... and drag by when all we can think about is what comes next. It's true for the five year old who can't wait to go to Disney world, the student watching the minutes tick by in a particularly boring lecture, as well as the expectant mother awaiting the birth of her child...

I've often found myself wishing for a fastforward or rewind button.... if I would have only known.... or if I could go forward and then come back and act accordingly. Perhaps it's the nature of time to dream about controlling it. Time is something we all are confined by, but we long to be free from its constraints. Though I am sure if we were entirely free, we would still not be happy.

Too often I find myself wishing away what I have now, because I'm too eagerly looking forward to something to come. Counting down days until...... summer. vacation. coming home. a birthday. seeing a friend. going back to school. getting out of school....... the cycle is endless. unforgiving at times. I find that after a while I lose the joy in the moment. I say that tomorrow will be better, and forget to live for today... or to make today count. I want my life to make a difference. But I can't quite do that if I'm always wishing away the here and now for the future. Because when the future comes, it will only be a boring old today... and if I do nothing with it.... that's what it will remain. I don't want to live a life of boring old todays!