I lift my bike from the hooks in the garage. It's been stored there since last summer. I ponder change as I wrestle it down, potentially dropping it on my head. Adrenaline pumps as I catch it, flip it right side up, and prop up the kickstand. I squeeze the deflated tires, grab the cob-webbed pump and begin pumping them with air.
Today I pedal hard. I want the wind to whip at me. I want it to rain. But He doesn't let it. The breeze dries the beads of sweat as they form. I am refreshed. The evening sun softens my path, peeking through the tunnel of green I'm racing under. I ride stubbornly over uneven sidewalks, wanting them to jostle me. He doesn't let them. To the fragrance of evening flowers, dew, and cracking twigs we begin talking.
Serious talk.
And when I get frustrated, He quiets me with His love. How can I be angry when I drink of His goodness every moment?
(a butterfly flutters gently out of the way of my spinning tires)
I trust Him because I know Him.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Moments and Goodbyes
I've always dreaded goodbyes. The moment you stand enveloped in a hug, breathing in the essence of a person, wishing you could take them with you forever and always. Rocking back and forth, hoping to hold on, just another moment. Knowing the moment you let go means the moment you have to part ways.
It's worse when "see you later" is not a reality. More like "see you never." But we don't dare say those words. A dear friend goes back to Korea after a year of study here, another one heading to the Philippines, friends graduate and move across the country in pursuit of new jobs, marriage. And everything changes. Nothing will be like it used to be. It's part of growing up. And it hurts.
I have been learning this semester that everything is a gift. everything.
So. Goodbyes are a gift. Because I have people to say goodbye to. Because I have people that have loved me, served me, poured into me, taught me, worked with me, led with me... I am blessed. I cry because I am so thankful that these people have been in my life. I cry because I am overwhelmed with the impact they have had. I cry because I am overwhelmed with grace... forever being given what I don't deserve.
I rejoice in the gift of Goodbyes. There is a time for everything. And now is a time of Goodbyes. I will rejoice. My eyes may shine with tears, my heart may empty, I may turn my face to hide my drenched cheeks. But I will rejoice.
It's worse when "see you later" is not a reality. More like "see you never." But we don't dare say those words. A dear friend goes back to Korea after a year of study here, another one heading to the Philippines, friends graduate and move across the country in pursuit of new jobs, marriage. And everything changes. Nothing will be like it used to be. It's part of growing up. And it hurts.
I have been learning this semester that everything is a gift. everything.
So. Goodbyes are a gift. Because I have people to say goodbye to. Because I have people that have loved me, served me, poured into me, taught me, worked with me, led with me... I am blessed. I cry because I am so thankful that these people have been in my life. I cry because I am overwhelmed with the impact they have had. I cry because I am overwhelmed with grace... forever being given what I don't deserve.
I rejoice in the gift of Goodbyes. There is a time for everything. And now is a time of Goodbyes. I will rejoice. My eyes may shine with tears, my heart may empty, I may turn my face to hide my drenched cheeks. But I will rejoice.
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| My roommate and I got to meet Laura Bush! |
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| Ice skating |
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| A winter weekend at home |
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| Friends from Korea |
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| Thea from the Philippines (center) |
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| Hall leadership team. Gaggle. |
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| "Terrific Trio" |
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| My RA and future roommate |
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| Future apartment! |
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| Epic Alpha Hall slip n slide |
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Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Leadership: Alpha 2 West
We started out hardly knowing each other. We were given a hall of 33 girls and told to lead them well. Sure we received training, but most learning usually happens on the job.
Some of us were very similar... we bonded right away. Some of us were very different... we struggled. Not because we didn't like each other, but mainly because we didn't understand each other. Some of us started as rivals... comparing ourselves to each other and wishing we were more like the other person. It threatened our unity as a team. But we fought hard to stay together. We dealt with it and became friends. Good, solid, amazing friends.
We have learned the amazing value of being unified as we lead.... and that unity has led to hall unity. It has been humbling to know that the way I behave will directly affect those I lead. I have seen it in my failure as well as my success. I have found immense joy in knowing that our leadership team has represented unity, love, prayer, and support to the women that we lead.
Trying to lead a hall when we hardly know each other is an amusing business... hall leadership meetings (Gaggle as we called it) were sometimes awkward... until we became friends. When we try to pinpoint when that was, we are quite unable. It just happened. Experiencing frustration and disappointment, as well as joy and excitement together will lead people to become friends.
Often it was in the moments of our weakness that our dependence on the Lord and our dependence on one another came out the most. We learned the power of prayer. We became a praying leadership team.
Some of us were very similar... we bonded right away. Some of us were very different... we struggled. Not because we didn't like each other, but mainly because we didn't understand each other. Some of us started as rivals... comparing ourselves to each other and wishing we were more like the other person. It threatened our unity as a team. But we fought hard to stay together. We dealt with it and became friends. Good, solid, amazing friends.
We have learned the amazing value of being unified as we lead.... and that unity has led to hall unity. It has been humbling to know that the way I behave will directly affect those I lead. I have seen it in my failure as well as my success. I have found immense joy in knowing that our leadership team has represented unity, love, prayer, and support to the women that we lead.
Trying to lead a hall when we hardly know each other is an amusing business... hall leadership meetings (Gaggle as we called it) were sometimes awkward... until we became friends. When we try to pinpoint when that was, we are quite unable. It just happened. Experiencing frustration and disappointment, as well as joy and excitement together will lead people to become friends.
Often it was in the moments of our weakness that our dependence on the Lord and our dependence on one another came out the most. We learned the power of prayer. We became a praying leadership team.
And that changed
everything.
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