Out of the Boat

Trust is hard. And trusting Jesus in the midst of the uncertainties of new motherhood is extra hard. I keep finding myself returning to the story of Jesus walking on the water... and so here are my musings about trust, storms, and getting out of the boat:

After feeding the 5000, Jesus sent his disciples to row across the sea in the midst of a strong wind. He watched them struggle. He knew what was waiting for them, yet He sent them anyway.

He came to them walking on the water. It was almost like He was trying to scare them! He even "intended to pass them by" (Mark account). 

WHAT.

Yet He was waiting for them to call out to Him -- to acknowledge that they needed Him. 

And Peter did. 

But first He asked Jesus to prove His identity. How? 

"Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water."

Peter knew the Lord. He knew that invitation and challenge are quintessential to who Jesus is. 

He invites.

He challenges.

He calls out. 

"Follow me."

"You give them something to eat."

"Come."

He challenges so that we may step out of that boat. To experience the waves tickling our bare feet as we glide across them. To feel the defying of the natural, the embracing of the supernatural.

A moment Peter would never forget. 

And though his faith was "little," he still got out of the boat.

He experienced the supernatural. And he also experienced the closeness and presence of Christ when he faltered.

He knew Jesus deeper and more intimately because of that test.

He felt Jesus' arms around him, catching him, buoying him up even as the waves crashed around him.

He knew intimacy with Christ in a way that none of the other disciples would.

He recognized Jesus as Lord, and as the One with authority to save: 

"Lord save me!" 

This cry honors Jesus, even when said by lips of the doubter. 

"Help my unbelief!"

And so in the midst of the anxieties of new motherhood... the crests and troughs of the white-capped waves, I will cry out to Jesus, my Lord who saves.

I will cry out to the One who has already "slept in the boat" with us in the midst of the previous tempests of life. Who calmed the wind and the waves of each storm, but sent us knowingly into the next one... so that we could experience His presence, His peace, His challenge to walk with Him on the waves, and to cry out "Lord save me!" when we falter.

To trust Him deeper. 

He loves our daughter more than we could ever. 

He loves me more than I can imagine. 

He is a good Father.

He gives good gifts to His children. 

And through it all, He invites us to trust Him.