Known

The hardest part about moving across the world is losing what's familiar.

It's losing that sense of knowing things, like what's expected when you go to a cafe and want to order a croissant and a coffee.

It's losing that sense of knowing people... of knowing the face your roommate makes just before she bursts out laughing. Or knowing what people are doing at any given point in the day. Or living life alongside of them, moment to moment.

It's losing that sense of being known. Of having people stop you in the hallway to see if you're ok because you happened to walk in to school a bit slower and more "weighed down" than usual. Of having a coworker bring you your favorite Starbucks drink just because. Of having someone know just how to encourage you, what scripture to pray over you, and how to breathe life back into your tired soul.

Sometimes as I walk the city streets, a face in the crowd, just one of hundreds on their way to work, I feel empty and alone. Do they know what my passions are? Do they know what makes me laugh or  burst with joy? Do they know what makes my heart heavy, and what threatens to rend it in two?

It's in these moments of gazing into bleary-eyed morning faces, trying to keep my eyes down instead of staring, that I remember Truth:

O Lord, you have searched me, and you have known me. You know when I sit, and when I rise, you are familiar with all of my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, Lord. (Ps. 139)

The way the red sunlight creeps over the city as I get on my first bus, and the way it bathes the gray streets in gold by the time I get on my second one is a quiet joy. It reminds me to look to the One who knows me. He knows how much a sunrise delights me, uplifts me, fills me with peace and joy for the day. It reminds me to cast my cares upon Him, because He knows me, and He cares for me.

And in His goodness, He is also gifting me with people to walk alongside of me and to take time to get to know me. He knows this brings me joy too.

In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis quotes about friendship: "Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought I was the only one!"

I am so thankful this season has been filled with these moments.

There is joy in the discovery, and in being discovered. It's not always comfortable, but it's good.