Trust

Every morning I get to school well before my students arrive. Among other things, I carefully order my laminated schedule cards next to my whiteboard. I change the date. On a large section of the chalkboard I write each subject and what students will be expected to learn. I create a powerpoint that walks them through a morning to-do list when they enter the room so they are ready to start the day.

And every morning, without fail, my students walk in the door, come straight to me, and begin asking me questions about the day. "Do we have a test today?" "Why do we have math instead of library?" "Do we have second recess?"

When this happens, I become annoyed.

Though I go to great lengths to prepare them for the day, they are not content to just know what they need for the moment. They want to know the entire day, and why our day is scheduled the way it is. Sometimes they make suggestions for better ways to order our day, and wait expectantly for me to implement them.

The chaos of a moved table or desk is enough to warrant a whole new battery of questions. As each child walks in the room, a new explanation is required.

This week, I realized I was impatient with them even before the bell rang to start the school day. Shortly after the seventh person walked over to ask me why the table was moved, I had a realization.

I am just like these fourth graders. Don't I feel I need to know every step of the future before I can move forward in the moment? Don't I demand an explanation for a change in plans, and even offer input as to the way I think it should go? I want to be in control. I want input. I want things to go the way I feel comfortable.

But this need for control is really a disguise for distrust. As I think about my relationship with the Lord, I disguise my lack of trust in Him as a "need to know the future." I don't tell Him I don't trust Him. I just do things in my own timing, because according to me, His is too slow.

If I am truly to follow Christ, to do as He asks, and to be obedient, I have to trust Him. I have to trust the Good Shepherd to lead me to quiet pastures and away from danger, even if I cannot see it yet. Just like I have the big picture for what my students need for the day, the Lord knows what I need and when I need it.

I can trust Him. He is the best Shepherd because He knows what it's like to be a Lamb.