My days are speeding forward... I have no way to slow them down. I'm overwhelmed with responsibilities hitting me all at once. Piles of packing left undone, overwhelmed by decisions... great and small. What to take, what to leave, what to buy, what to keep.
People are on my mind a lot... people of the future, people of the present, people of the past. Those I will soon see in just a few short days, excitement brimming, thrilled to live again with my dear roommate, and beautiful friends. Excited to reunite, to listen, to talk, to share life. Nervous about meeting my class of sixth graders, fear of inadequacy or failure nipping at my heels... every excited thought followed by a nagging one. Thrilled to be part of a community of people walking with me through life again... brimming at the possibilities, the opportunity to pour in, to love, to grow. Expectantly waiting to meet the new Korean students... and all other new students, freshmen, and transfers. Fears that my introverted self will be overwhelmed at the sheer magnitude of change.
Missing my brother by just one day escalates my feelings of not being ready... of wishing for maybe just one more week here... one more week of wrapping up relationships, moving on, saying good-byes. I rejoice in the relationship I have built with my parents and celebrate the victories we've shared together, the good jokes, and the things we've accomplished together this summer.
I also realize that Grace will be different... that many people who have been the face of Grace to me will no longer be there because they have graduated. I'm the senior now... and that means I become the face of Grace to others... a humbling thought.
I'm beginning to live my life in the adult world... a foot still in college, and a foot in the real world. I don't feel ready. But I take heart knowing that the One who knows all things has gone before me. So... senior year... student teaching... life: Ready. Set. GO!
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