When people cut me off...

I'm in the crowded capital of the United States. My sandaled feet are covered in the dirt of the city.... and I'm tired. With every step, pain shoots up my leg, starting in my heel, and spreading across the soles of my feet like an angry fire. We are all tired after hours and hours of walking. It begins to rain.... heavy, thick drops that leave their stains on our thin, summery shirts.

He steps in front of me. I have to slow down, move around him, and change my pace. I'm irritable to begin with, but now I let him have it. He's been cutting me off intentionally... I'm sure. He keeps doing it, enjoying my reaction... I'm sure. He snaps back "don't flatter yourself."

At the time I thought it was a ridiculous statement. How could I possibly think that someone cutting me off or stepping in front of me was flattery!

And then I began to think... indeed in some ways, it is. It implies that I think that everyone knows where I am and where I'm going... and that if they do cut me off it was intentional and premeditated in order to disrupt me and my path.

As much as I love people-watching, I hate being in a crowd. People continually step in front of me, push me from behind, or don't even realize I'm there. Most people talk about road rage. Since I don't spend too much time driving a car, my rage is more like "walk rage." It's the quick burst of anger at people who suddenly stop in the middle of the hallway, blocking my path. It's the increased blood pressure and fury at people who zigzag in front of me and cut me off.

But ultimately, it's pride.

It's the idea that where I'm going and what I'm doing is far more important than anybody else. It's the idea that everyone around me should see me, recognize me, and stay clear. It's the idea that my agenda matters more.

And in being so enraged at people who cut me off, I fail to notice who I'm cutting off. When I'm the offender I dismiss it as nothing... I know my reasons... they should understand. But then I'm just as arrogant as when I rage at those who cut me off.

Practical pride.