The Beauty of Change

Our old basement carpeting was a rust-colored red. It was a little shaggy, a little patchy from times we needed to tear up some due to various basement leaks. But somehow it was still so much a part of the character of our house that I was rather against getting new carpeting this summer. Not because new carpeting wouldn't be nice, but because I was afraid that that would mean erasing all the memories buried in that rusty, worn carpeting. All the memories of the basement... crawling on our stomachs through pillow forts as little kids, our bi/tri-annual Lord of the Rings marathons, sleepovers, secrets, friends... yes... I do reminisce a fair amount, and it helps if everything stays just as it was back then.

That carpeting had been there for over 30 years... and everyone had been so content to just leave it the way it was. But now it is replaced. The scent of fresh, clean, new carpeting is refreshing... Despite all my original fears of not liking the new stuff, or forgetting the old stuff, or the memories being wiped out... the new carpeting really is better. The memories still cling to my mind. And the change is good.

Normally the above statement would not be something I agree with. It would be something I hate, shun, run from. But just this past summer, past few weeks even, so much has changed. I'm learning to embrace it. Key word: learning. Just like any learning process I have my up days and my down days, but I think the general trend is growth... which always makes me excited.

I'm learning that change is completely natural. If I run from it, I am only creating reasons to complain, be discontent, and grumpy. What's the point of that? So while it's a process, I'm trying to accept change with open arms and face new challenges as they hit me head on.

So what are some of these changes?

The fact that one of my best friends at school is going to South Korea to study abroad. My selfish gut instinct is to not let her go... but I'm realizing that letting her go is the way I can love her most. I need to support her in her decision to go, pray for her as she prepares to head across the world, and rejoice with her as she experiences new things.

I'm going to be a growth group leader (small group leader) in Alpha. I'm incredibly excited... though it's new. It's different from last year's dorm. And (shocker) I'm going to be working with different people. It's time for new joys, new challenges, and new thrills. I'm getting excited!

My friendships are evolving... and though they're going to new places, unexplored places, places that may no longer be within my comfort zone, I need to be willing to go with them. And so I'm embracing the new friendships that are just around the corner. I'm embracing the new-ish friendships that are still so fresh, budding, beautiful. I'm embracing the old friendships that continue to grow in love and respect and support of one another as we head through new times, different walks of life, new decisions. But all of these friendships are capable of growing still more, becoming still more meaningful. And I'm delighting in the fact that even through change, some things are still constant.

I'm leading a new internationally-focused group on Grace College campus called Mosaic. I am SO excited about all the new opportunities, the different people I will be able to work with, and the cultures I will get to interact with. I am by no means comfortable suddenly being in charge of such an endeavor. Of course I'm afraid of failing...  BUT. I know that the weaker I am, the more God will be able to glorify Himself through my simple efforts... and that's encouraging.

The bare floor that peeked out from under the red carpeting looked rather hopeless... forlorn... just plain sad. But if it knew what was coming... there would be nothing to complain about. I feel like I am that bare patch of floor... feeling a little stripped away, a little bare, exposed, vulnerable. But if I may feel a little deserted or uncomfortable with the fact that I don't know everything that's going to happen... I can at least trust that it's for the better :)

The beauty of change rests in the fact that I am not in control. That I'm learning to let go and quit being the control freak I so often am. It takes the pressure off of me. It's not about me to begin with... but somehow I've made it to be ALL about me. I can rest in the knowledge that everything will work out according to God's beautiful plan, and the more I'm willing to give, the more He will use me!